Bad Beetle

I had a dream last night about a magical, malicious bug. It was a beetle; six legs,  ivory elytra with intricate black designs painted on its back, clicking pincers in front of its mouth. I’m not a huge fan of bugs, but this one didn’t particularly bother me. I was rather interested in what it was doing.


I was sitting at a campfire with a few friends. I was dreaming, so I had two points of view. The first being a part of the conversation taking place around me, and the second, I was the narrator. I watched the bug crawl into my pocket, unbeknownst to me. Do you follow? It’s kind of confusing, but wait till the end.

I should probably mention who else is at the campfire with me. To my left is Gimli and Legolas, to my right is Frodo, Aragorn and Gandalf. I think Samwise was elsewhere cooking something.

I was hanging out with the Fellowship, folks. No kidding.

Back to the bug. It crawled into my pocket and laid an egg. But it wasn’t a tiny larva egg. It was about the size of the bug’s abdomen, and it was a the same color, ivory. The bug left soon after dropping the egg. A small spell was left on me from the bug to make me think that the egg was a nut. So I reached into my pocket and ate the snack.

This is when things started getting freaky. The spell grew stronger immediately, and I fell asleep. My friends didn’t think much of it considering it was late at night. The next day, though, I didn’t wake up.

I had become the host to this bug. The bug was of course working for Sauron, and its egg gave Sauron access to my thoughts. As well as the Fellowship’s plan to defeat him. Because, of course, I was let in on the secrets.

When I didn’t awake the next morning, Gandalf knew exactly what was going on. He performed his counter spells and I coughed up the egg. I had the withal to keep most of the secrets from Sauron, but we had to change a few things. Like who was going to deliver the ring to Mordor. We gave it to Pippin, because who in their right mind would give him a mission like that?

Don’t steal the dream, folks. I think it’s going to end up in one of my bestsellers.

Image Credit: Terry Thormin